For thousands of years, a soul lived in anguish.  Tortured by desire for the perfect cup of coffee, this soul took on many forms.  Myths from ancient cultures discuss this tortured soul, and early cave drawings expose the raw torment and rage contained within the various bodies this soul inhabited. 

Eventually, this soul took possession of a young girl named Rebecca.  The deeply-rooted longing for the perfect cup of coffee drove her around the world.  She worked with the circus for a while, traveling from town to town, always searching.  She even fell in love with Alligator Boy, Scaly Hodges.  Then, she had an idea.  Why keep searching for the perfect cup?  Why not learn to make the perfect cup? 

Through centuries of work, she has mastered the art of creating perfection in a cup. 
 
She also trained extensively with circus-folk, especially the world-renown contortionist "Twisty", on effective internet exploration and assessment.